Embracing the Change
Change is a natural part of our journey. If we're not changing then we’re not growing. Honor this change. Like sitting in a boat on the water, the flow of the water moves you to the next bend in the curve, opening you up to new places, with new opportunities. What is it within us that is afraid of change? Sometimes people don't like change because it makes them feel scared-- like it's the death of something, either literally or figuratively. The sadness is about holding onto the past. We have to face our present, find inner strength, and ultimately find peace within ourselves. People who deal with the grief of losing someone may stay in this sadness because it feels like what is left of the relationship. We cling to this state of lack because it's more comforting than forgetting. But we can build a new relationship with this Spirit version of our loved ones. It's about acceptance of the inevitability of change. Instead of fighting it, embrace it. This requires being present with your thoughts, accepting how you feel, and deciding it's OK to feel this way. You won't feel this way forever, and that's OK. Little by little you break the habit.
It's not easy breaking out of the spiral of grief. My mom passed away when I was young. And my world came crumbling down around me but I learned to forge a new relationship with her in her spirit form. It may sound counterintuitive to suggest staying present, since it seems like that is where the grief lives, but it's actually the best place to be because presence requires us to refocus our attention and grounds us back into the physical world. This is not always easy for us, especially in times of grief and distress, but it's the one place we can fully connect with the other side and gain support from Spirit. It doesn’t take a huge amount of effort to slow down and do nothing. In the mental space of presence we release everything else that pulls us away from the here and now.
I invite you, in this moment, to take time to practice presence. When you find a moment of time alone, in a safe and calm place-- somewhere without too many distractions-- stop and focus on your breath. On the inhale simply think the mantra "I live in the present moment." On the exhale, see all your thoughts and feelings that pull at you from all directions. Like a class full of kindergarteners tugging on your shirt from all around you, imagine them releasing their grip with your exhaling breath. You will need to practice this process a number of times in order to feel this release. When you feel disconnected from the regrets of the past and the worries of the future, then and only then are you free. Free of suffering. Free of worrying thoughts. This is this space where healing begins.